Stuff Written During the Summer

I came across this assignment from my summer Creative Writing class which was to where we had to write ten poems early last week. Figured I'd post some of them.

-1-

It's incredible

Everybody says they're right

Nobody says they're wrong

Good and bad

It's really subjective

But they collectively ignore that

Believing in their moral superiority

To other cultures

Is that right?

Is that wrong?

It's really subjective

To individual perspectives

-2-

Hands up

I surrender

I can no longer fight

It's clear

That you don't care

You've made up your mind

But don't forget

That I'll always be here

If you ever change your mind

-3-

Everyday

Is an add on

To the obstacle course

There are new challenges

To be dealt with

And old obstacles

To navigate again

Being stalled by obstacles

Every now and then

Is inevitable

Enduring the challenges

Keeps you going

Keeps you growing

-4- (my favorite of the bunch)

Shadows of the past

Seem to linger and last

The meaning of them elusive

Feelings on them inconclusive

In and out they go

As they randomly flow

Through ones train of thought

Occasionally being caught

Internal battles rage

As memories enter the cage

The meaning of them elusive

Feelings on them inconclusive

Shadows of the past

Seem to linger and last

It's Over

I've had enough of being demonized for giving a care about a particular friend. It was obvious for a few weeks that the problem was me... ever since shortly after Homecoming... But I was hoping that that would turn around.

This pain is the result of giving a damn about someone that you also wished you could help cheer up... Its taught me yet again the lesson I should have accepted Junior year instead of fighting: Don't give a care about anyone. They don't care and just stab you in the back... I guess I've always been too forgiving, and too willing to forget the past in the hopes of a better future (when there is that hope). Now the past that is coming to mind is just causing more angst..

I pretty much was the last of her "friends" who hadn't seemingly given up or said forget it when it comes to her attitude problems and emotional problems it seemed. I tried to endure, and be there as help since no one else it seemed would. But it wasn't wanted. It didn't do any good.

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
My scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel
...

I tried to help you once
A kiss will only vise
I saw you going down
But you never realized
That your drowning in the water
So I offered you my hand
Compassions in my nature
...

Cause your drowning in the water
And I tried to grab your hand
And I left my heart open
But you didn't understand
...

I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
My scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel
- Papa Roach "Scars"

Patriotism (wikipedia notes)

I'm just a wee bit behind in my Journalism assignment (mainly because it took me a number of days to finally think up a topic for my feature story). As mentioned in an earlier post its about "Patriotism", mainly because of how subjective its use tends to be, kind of like "good", "love", "real", so on and so forth, but, not so much. But still subjective.

My first online source was Wikipedia. Holy hell did the article on that have all the resources I could need for a research paper it would seem. How to sum it up and mix it with quotes from people at school that I have not interviewed yet is beyond me at the moment. Here's the main parts of the entry on patriotism, however:

The types of acts considered patriotic depend very much on ones point of view. Acts that one person considers patriotic may appear treasonous to another. For example, both soldiers and war resisters may consider their actions driven by a love of their country and a desire to see the greatest good for it, while at the same time seeing the others' actions as damaging and unpatriotic
...

In his article "Is patriotism a virtue?" (1984), the philosopher Alasdair
MacIntyre addresses this question in a particularly subtle way. He first notes
that most contemporary conceptions of morality insist on a kind of impartial blindness to accidental traits like national origin in the just treatment of our
fellow humans-and therefore, that patriotism is inevitably not moral under these conceptions
...

Throughout history, patriotic feeling has often been linked to religion. At various points in history, particularly in time of war, various relations of religion and patriotism have prevailed.

In one variant, patriotic participants in a war acknowledge that the enemy worships the same god, but judge that this god is on their own side, thus providing the external justification for patriotism noted just above. This is perhaps a fair characterization of the attitude of many of the participants in the American Civil War or most of the fronts of the First World War. Another variant is for each side to worship different gods, acknowledge that the other side’s god exists, and believe that their own god is superior. This may have characterized the conflicts between the ancient Israelites and their Canaanite opponents, as narrated in the Old Testament. Yet another version of religious patriotism is the belief that a god or set of gods is on one’s side, and that the god or gods of the other side simply do not exist. This view often characterized the beliefs of the European powers during the colonialist period, when their armies often fought against pagan opponents.

Under any of these circumstances, religion can provide a satisfactory account to its believers for what otherwise would be a paradox, namely, that both sides in a conflict can feel patriotic at the same time. The idea would be that the other side is in fact fighting against God’s will, and thus can be considered to be engaged in a false kind of patriotism.
...

Patriotism can be both for or against the current government of a nation. Supporters of the current government may hold the opinion that patriotism implies support of one's government and its policies, and that opposition to the government's policies amounts to treason. But in other instances, rebellion against a corrupt or tyrannical government may be justified as an act needed to save the nation, and thus is likewise motivated by patriotism.
...

Patriotism is sometimes associated with ethnocentrism, i.e. the belief in the inherent superiority of one's own people, however this may be defined. However, in the case of ethnocentrism, the people in question need not form a nation, but can be a smaller or larger unit. Moreover, the term ethnocentrism is generally used negatively, whereas the term patriotism is quite often used positively.
...

Author George Bernard Shaw defined patriotism as "your conviction that this country is superior to all other countries because you were born in it.".
...

The Russian writer Leo Tolstoy had a particularly negative attitude towards patriotism. In his pamphlet Christianity and Patriotism he wrote: "Patriotism... for rulers is nothing else than a tool for achieving their power-hungry and money hungry goals, and for the ruled it means renouncing their human dignity, reason, conscience, and slavish submission to those in power. ... Patriotism is slavery."

>> Full Article

Pen Drawn Galleria (week of October 23rd-30th)

This is the "cream of the crop" of what I've drawn into this pad of paper of mine during idle time in class (as I have done for years. Heh) over the last week. Some are inspired by darker moods and others are [hopefully] straight forward instead of needing explaination.


"Battle of Endolchi" [New Galaxy project]
Click for full size


"Burning Rose" [random but symbolic]


"Nuclear Holocaust" [random]


"Advanced Shock Trooper" [random]

October 30th (morning of)

Eh, the Halloween party is tonight, for some reason I'm not too thrilled. I guess I just feel real left out and unimportant to the whole affair. Everytime I offer to help it gets turned down, so one person is bearing the burden, and its already clearly causing her a lot more stress than it should.

So when they were over to set up more preparations I stayed upstairs for the most part. It proved to me that I was right in my above theory, especially after I again offered to help, but it was again refused. But it dissipated a bit between then and a really entertaining night at work, only to reform now that it has the opportunity to creep back to mind.

Part of me wants the party to start already so it can be the hell over with soon, since I doubt it'll be much different than last night was during the second session of preparations. Dunno. Maybe part of it is my demeanor.

Anyway, one escape is reading other blogs. And I had the luck of having a link to one I was previously oblivious to, and its that of an Army Medic that just got back from Mosul, Iraq. It's called "A Candle in the Dark". And as far as I've read (which hasn't been too far), its insightful and entertaining about things over there, so here's an excerpt (and I must note that NCO means "Non Commissioned Officer" for those in the dark, which are the higher echelon enlisted personnel):

Men that have been shot, whether alive or dead, go limp instantly. Like pulling the cord out of the wall while using the vacuum. Haji must have two thimbles of blood in him because he goes pale at the mention of
bleeding. Looking at a man before shooting at him is the most exciting thing I have experienced while at the same time feeling stranger than anything I have ever done. People would serve me tea out of their front door as I pulled security on a corner next to their house. They always tasted it first as if I was Caesar or something. Children will flip you off then wave to you and smile obviously not knowing what it means. It was taught to them by other units. I'm sure the guys did it and the kids saw it as a greeting. Children draw you pictures of Americans smiling and fighting for them. Raiding someone's house and searching it makes you feel guilty while you destroy their possessions; then you find the stash of RPG's and $10,000. Fresh pomegranate juice is really good.
Kurds are a real nationality, Palestinians are not. Just like Kuwaiti's. You are a part of history but since it is the present you don't fully appreciate it.

Outside of the war zone (yes, you Kuwait and Camp Victory) they think they're in the theater but they aren't. They play silly ass games, drills, exercises for readiness and play soldier. The "soft MOS's" like the moniker war hero but really they are as safe as most of you back home. Sergeant Majors who have nothing to do but ask soldiers what side of an NCO you should walk on and why the boonie hat is not the uniform. Combat awards should involve gunfire being leveled at you and not just around you. Just because you can hear it doesn't mean you're in danger. Civilians shouldn't be here outside the wire. We saved their asses one to many times. Burger King should be for the Joe's in combat not in a small military city in Baghdad or Kuwait. Internet should always be free and chow needs to be open 24 hours a day since some of us have a combat schedule and not bankers hours.

Trash for the Voters

Cartoon by Daryl Cagle

On a serious note, there is a decent site pointing out lies and exaggerations from both election campaigns:
>> FactCheck.org

24+ Hours Awake

Heh. Actually it doesn't feel like that.

I had a good night hanging out with the gals, seeing them smile, so on and so forth, but I feel empty. A vague pain echoing softly within my heart.

The extra semester I should have never had to stick around for is almost over, and its bringing me down as time winds down in the social nexus that I have been accostomed to having my life revolve around...

Debating a Hiatus...

I'm debating a hiatus soon. Heh. mostly because of crap I've been putting down recently, and the lack of very many decent topics for posts other than general ramblings about the day. I also hate how last night part of my poetic side (which is really rarely "active") was feeding ideas to me. And I couldn't write them down, nor memorize them. Heh.

...One thing though is kinda bothering me, and its an email I just noticed that I got yesterday. The last line in it was unsettling. A friend basically says how soon he/she will probably kill him/herself. I'm at a loss for what to friggin do, though, yet again. What scares me is the thought of if he/she does so -- oddly enough I had a thought about that friend doing that last night when I was driving home from work. Freaky coincidence. Happened for a reason, right?

And thanks to that tangent I am at a loss for words and topics. So I'll finish this with a link to something I found hilarious when I first saw it:
>> Farting Preacher [FunnyJunk.com]

Some uploaded screenshots

From various N64 ROMs (because I'm bored and got nothing "decent" to post about:


From "Aerofighters Assault"


From "Castlevania 64"


From "Conkers Bad Fur Day"


From "Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time"


From "South Park"

October 25th

I'm a little ticked that I'm being kept out of the loop on a number of things, including one event involving my own friggin house, but in the end there'll be no one to blame but the person or persons who kept me in the dark. Hm. Maybe that was part of yesterdays sentiment -- feeling USED.

WTF, Mate

work was okay, I suppose. There was entertainment, of course:

(10:32:23 AM) Brenn: hows work going
(10:32:48 AM) Me: I don't like the job itself but I like the characters I work with
(10:32:54 AM) Brenn: lol
(10:33:27 AM) Me: one of them I just found out this morning was once enrolled in a Police Officer training program or something to that effect, and he got the nickname "Mace" since he was eager to mace a person or an animal.

Heh, having yesterday off sucked, though. There was nothing to do. And I have this gut feeling that I was purposely left out of a bunch of fun. I resent that -- being left out, especially when I gave somewhat of a damn about being "in" instead of "out". So I just napped here and there, which really screwed me up, other than the loneliness. Heh.

I probably should see about going to bed soon. Heh. I mean I've had a small headache off and on since 1 am. So, I'll finish this with one last quote. This quote specifically because I'm an ass.

[Brenn, about things so far with his g/f Sam]
(10:11:08 AM) Brenn: so far i'm "the best g/f that she's ever had"
(10:11:14 AM) Me: rofl
(10:11:17 AM) Me: reread that dude
(10:11:23 AM) Brenn: ....
(10:11:25 AM) Brenn: fucker.
(10:11:28 AM) Brenn: you know what i mean

Sox Fan Killed with "Non-Lethal" Bullet. Oops.

Guess they aren't so "non-lethal" afterall.

Emerson College student Victoria Snelgrove, 21, died Thursday, hours after being hit in the eye with what was designed to be a non-lethal projectile that would douse the target with a pepper-like spray. Her father expressed outrage at the city’s response to her death.

Witnesses said Snelgrove was standing outside the ballpark when a reveler threw a bottle at a mounted police officer. Another officer fired the plastic, pepper-spray filled balls into the crowd, hitting Snelgrove.

>> Source Article [MSNBC]

What was the point of her life just to be killed celebrating the victory of a sports team? What the hell kind of fate is that? Everything that had been worked for, and dreamed for, lost forever in an instant.

Various

Religious broadcaster Pat Robertson says he warned President Bush before U.S. troops invaded Iraq that the United States would sustain casualties but that Bush responded, "Oh, no, we're not going to have any casualties."
...
Robertson, in a cable news interview that aired Tuesday night, said God had told him that the war would be messy and a disaster
...
Robertson, the founder of the Christian Coalition and a candidate for the Republican nomination for president in 1988, said he supports Bush's re-election and believes the president is blessed by God.

"I think God's blessing him, and I think it's one of those things that, even if he stumbles and messes up -- and he's had his share of goofs and gaffes -- I just think God's blessing is on him," Robertson said. "And you remember, I think the Chinese used to say, you know, it's the blessing of heaven on the emperor. And I think the blessing of heaven is on Bush. It's just the way it is.

>> Source Article [Fox News]

...

Apparently one person that a party invitation was given to didn't want to come, but instead of just saying that she apparently lied about it (and obviously got caught somehow). Afterschool I heard that a friend of mine took that hard. Given what kind of people she's had the misfortune of being hurt by, I can't blame her. Its rotten to have friends do that to you.

It also made me wonder a bit if Homecoming caused a similar feeling...

In fifth hour I drew the whole time. Came up with this drawing inspired by our Archery unit in my 6th hour. Mainly because it is a picture of the shooting range set-up (sorta).

(click for full size)

And then I looked up the transcript for this one bit from last night's "Countdown" on MSNBC:

The oldest, most cynical joke in the book has the man approaching the beautiful woman and asking, will you spend the night with me for $1 million? She recoils in horror and then abruptly recalculates the cost-benefit analysis. Why, yes, she purrs. OK, says the guy. How about for $50? The woman tenses with anger and self-indignation. Are you nuts? What do you think I am? The man looks at her cynically and says, we both know what you are. We‘re just haggling over the price.

Our third story on the COUNTDOWN, "The New York Daily News" reports that Fox News Channel offered the accuser in the Bill O‘Reilly sexual harassment scandal $2 million to make that complaint disappear. When her lawyer suggested that $60 million was the appropriate price, Fox got indignant and sued them. We all know what you are, Fox. You‘re just haggling over the price.

>> Source Transcript [MSNBC]

Dark

click for full size.

"One Can, To Rule them ALL!!"

It all started last night at work -- a.k.a. hell. Though, sometimes hell ain't so bad of a place (as previously pointed out). Heh. I loosen up quite a bit there at times, and sometimes get into these really brief weird moods. Its came back for a moment a bit ago, too.

nr363avs (2:31:29 PM): I was so weird last night at work at one point
nr363avs (2:31:48 PM): I came across one spot that had only one can of the item on the shelf, and I go "One Can To Rule Them All!!"
ravennbrenn07 (2:32:41 PM): LOL

Anyway, heh, it was an interesting drive home at 4 am with storms all around, rockin to 105.7 like I usually do. Amazingly I missed all the heavy parts on the 30 minute drive, because five minutes after I got home the storm kicked into full gear here. It was nice to rest to: the darkness punctuated by bright bluish flashes of light and the rumble of thunder, oh god I love listening to storms and rain.

I was an ass in first hour; an ass while smiling about it. I was like that off and on all day. I've lost part of conscience it would seem. Something of importance losing its meaning I guess can have that effect when you're sick of the damn losing streak (I am not refering to the Cards series).

In 2nd hour we watched part of "Bowling for Columbine", and the normal censorship hypocrisy occured: My teacher fast forwarded through part that had a Chris Rock stand up segment in which he says Fuck a bunch of times, but yet it was ok to see actually dumb and unfortunate people get shot or shoot themselves dead. WTF.

"Kick the Shit out of Him"

From "Conker's Bad Fur Day" (N64)

"Odd" Saturday

I knew last night I'd be on my own, but it didn't even have to be that way. It says a whole lot about one of my "friends" (though the second half of this week has told me plenty, too). I dunno. I'm not to thrilled about that. Things seem awkward, though. In more ways than one... I dunno...

I wasn't told of a get together on Friday but this horrible guy was thought of. Flattering. Real flattering. Found it out from the same "friend" who didn't want to be around me last night, around the time when we would have been hanging out anyway when she was IMing me. Oh how nice...

----
End quote: courtesy of an IM from Glenn the other day on his "unique" screenname.

HAY FAGGOTT: HAY!
NR363avs: HAY FAGGOTT!
HAY FAGGOTT: LOL!
HAY FAGGOTT: THATS ME

Multi-Topic Post for 10-14

Heh, I have no time to waste to differentiate between topics in seperate posts. I've got work tonight and I am dying to take comfort in my bed. Heh. So, here I go.

Fradulent Signatures
This was in today's STL Post as a small side not:

A state court knocked Ralph Nader off Pennsylvania's presidential ballot on Wednesday, citing thousands of fradulent signatures including "Mickey Mouse" and "Fred Flintstone."

Keep the Noise Down!
First hour was normal, as in, I was casual and humorous. It's funny how some of them get into these pointless arguments about which is better: PS2 or XBOX.

Which brings me to something I've recently noticed. I don't belong to any particular "group". I'm kinda on my own. I'm between the "Popular" Nerds / Intellectuals, and the Outcasts. I get along with fringe elements of each, I guess because I have a mix of the two in me. I dunno.

Last Night
Eh, it was normal. Had its funny moments. I was really loose by then, what had bothered me earlier had faded away easily. It's odd, it took realizing that I was being too serious and too angsty yesterday to suddenly get it to fade away. I feel "free" to a degree. It carried over into today.

Nice Guys Finish Last
Its interesting how I'm the bad guy to someone when really I'm not. And I'd have thought that she of all people would know that. Oh well. Goes to show how faith can be misplaced.

It seems to be my luck right now. I don't say that out of a lack of confidence (far from it), its just an observation. I probably just haven't met the right person yet. Either that or I have but the circumstances aren't right at the moment, whether it be my attitude or another person's attitude or a combo of the two; one of us or both of us not even realizing it, so on and so forth and all that what if mumbojumbo...

Not to mention, part of me does not want any relationships right now. Not because I don't like the idea of having someone around. Its more of a fearing change kind of deal, and fearing rejection. I'm mostly used to being alone. I've made myself that way, and I'm somewhat comfortable with it. I don't necessarily want the hectic mindset of a relationship or the angst from being turned down, though I wouldn't mind the peace of mind and the joy it would bring if it was the "right" person. I'd welcome that with open arms. I dunno. I don't like being demonized for it just because of someone's mistaken paranoia.

If I really wanted to I wouldn't have a problem being social, being more out there. But, I'm mostly content with where I am socially, despite the parts of me that don't like it (but there's always going to be that part that wants more regardless of standing). It's weird, and I'm too sleepy to be able to better detail it.

Operation Phantom Fury
Found this when browsing the Fox News website in 3rd hour:

Iraq's Bermuda Triangle

Overall
It's been a real good day because of that attitude readjustment that occured last night and having fun in a few of my classes. Sure, I'm vaguely down at times, but, I'll get over it. Its out of mind most of the time, anyway. Whatever the problem is right now will pass or be settled eventually. I hope. Heh.

Meanwhile I'm sick of work just because of how I have no time for the New Galaxy project or any practice for Journalism (which is a field I may be interested in going into). Sociology is slipping fast, which is not good because I have to pass every class this semester or its a Full year for me. I'm so glad I have tomorrow off. I can then catch up on some sleep and let my brain fully recharge -- temporarily.

And it looks like I'll have plenty of free time over the weekend given current circumstances.

A Mixed Day

To go with mixed feelings that I partly wish I didn't have in the first place. Heh.

Before first hour was alright, I suppose. I no longer get visits. Reading between the lines there wasn't hard at all.

First hour itself was funny. Audie at one point sung "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts" in his retard voice... which is fucking hilarious. He keeps singing the damn song though and its freaking annoying. Its even getting on Brenn's nerves finally (only took four school days).

I'm so proud of Brenn. He finally posted the quotes he wrote down in 1st hour on Friday:

"Dive your head into your mother." -Chris M, he really said monitor, but it was funny either way

"Say everything really fast, he'll get carpal tunnel syndrome." -Chris, saying this after i try to write down everything they say

"Oh yeah, every day I go out and burn down the post office, and when I get home, I put on my Nazi uniform." -Audie, after Dakari said he was
racist

"In Europe, who cares?" -Audie, after i told him the story of the Bubonic Plague (Black Death)"Instead of the Twin Towers, they should of hit the Eiffel Tower." -Audie, sharing his opinion on 9/11

Second hour was okay, I suppose. Got back our last test and I did surprisingly well for not taking it seriously (88/100!!), much like the MAP test last year. Heh.

But lunch has left me really unsettled. I'll leave that alone for now when it comes to even vague details... I'm still trying to sort / figure some things out...

Needless to say the rest of the day was crap because of lunch, though.

Got Wood?

Heh, I browsed MSNBC's hardblogger the other morning before first hour and found this one debate result comment by Keith Olberman:

Timber Update: In the middle of its evaluation of Bush-Kerry II, the Hooey from St. Looey, the Scorer's Table warned Mr. Bush during the course of the thirteenth round that if it proved Mr. Kerry was correct in his assertion that the President derived $84 of income from part-ownership of a timber company, the President would be severely
sanctioned.

The Scorer's Table, having taken two hours to let the Blogosphere complete its due diligence (and to permit the scorer to retreat to a corner of the room, don cold compresses, and moan quietly), can now quote the truth from "Factcheck.Org": "President Bush himself would have qualified as a 'small business owner' under the Republican definition, based on his 2001 federal income tax returns. He reported $84 of business income from his part ownership of a timber-growing enterprise." Brooks Jackson's marvelous site noted that the timber interest was listed under "royalties" in his 2002 and 2003 returns, indicating The Texas Thunderbolt still has an interest in said
concern.

...

The scorer's table reproaches President Bush for not knowing when he has wood.

Battery Recharge

The last 48 hours have been a little "hectic". Heh. I got up around 5:30 Sunday evening because of a briefer than I had expected phone conversation, after having gone to bed around 4 in the morning. Went to work, got home, laid down in bed for two hours -- I could not sleep.

So I went through the school day without getting any sleep, so by the afternoon I was running on fumes, but I was still wide awake somehow. And then I spent the evening with a few friends running them around and hanging out at a restaurant and a few malls, fighting off some depressing angst and thoughts early on. I didn't care by the end, I was having a good time, she and the several other people around were having a good time, made me feel great.

Barely got everyone dropped off at their homes in time for me to then run to work. My dad was so pissed when I got home at 9:30 to pick up my badge and box cutter because of how he had been worrying for several hours. Got to work on time! With a few minutes to spare, even. Heh. By then I had been awake around 28 hours. By the time I got home and fell asleep it was close to 36 hours, and I felt like I was going to collapse by hour 31 while at work.

I was content with going to school in a few hours. But when I woke up it was 11:41 am. Obviously my dad had called me in. That bugged me. I had spent so much energy, and time and effort the day before, and then being absent today probably made me lose points, maybe all the gains from yesterday. You know: "Out of sight, out of mind". Probably especially with one of the friends whose been really... bitter? less-caring about others? since being essentially disenfranchised by her classmates last week who is the only person it seems that I give that much of a damn about (or practically any kind of "care" about, to be honest).

Bleh... got work tonight. Oh yay... More time to think about crap...

I walk Alone

I followed a link from Mike's post last night to something his cousin Chris posted. It's something I can sympathize with, but I wish I wouldn't have come across it now while I'm still down about what I missed and not being missed at Homecoming. It just ads to the angst. But, its worth quoting, still:

I've lost my childhood. I'll be 18 in a matter of days. It came so fast. I never realized my dreams of establishing a deep connection with anyone. My best friend is wandering the halls without knowing of us,
without knowing me. I am, perhaps, the only person who has never met their "best friend". It's a little sad that my best friend is anyone who's willing to give me comfort when I'm in the depths of my self-pity and self-loathing. I have never truly known a shoulder to cry on, or an embrace to numb the pain in my chest.

I almost brought myself to tears comforting someone, realizing I was telling them things that I've always wanted to hear from someone else.

...

I've rediscovered my pathetic stupefaction by girls. Girls that are even slightly attractive. It's a curse, being able to see the superficial beauty in most anyone. It's not so much "lowering your standards" as it is focusing on their beauty until everything else is nothing. How can I think to say something when I am captivated by their eyes

"Good To Be in D.C"

The latest cartoon from JibJab - sequel you could say to "This Land".

Screenshots:

No Media Filter for Debates

It's interesting to see the difference between what the media says about the debates and what the online polls say. Some people thing
the press is liberal - while others thing that the press is Republican owned and controlled. So I say - get rid of the media filter and watch the debates yourself. That way what you see is what they said and the news media can't interfere with reality.

Don't let "them" tell you what to think. If you are a patriot and you care about the future of America - then invest the time to watch the debates yourself - compare what the candidates say to reality - and go out and vote for who you think will be best for America's future.

- Source: Marc Perkel Rantz

I'm a No Show...

As its turned out I decided against going to Homecoming, so I didn't even bother to set my alarm for before 7 pm. I was hoping to sleep through most of it so I wasn't depressed or angsty thinking about what I was missing. Besides, I had told at least one of the gals that I wasn't even sure if I was going, and they assumed I was going and that I was giving them a ride.

So I wake up to find out one of them is on the phone from my dad (she called him a liar when he said I was asleep. Heh. Well, at first she thought he was me, a mistake a lot of people make), she was wondering why I hadn't picked them up yet.

It hurt so much to tell her that I wasn't going. They probably think I'm ditching them. Yes, staying home as alone as I would've been at the dance is "ditching" (sarcasm). I just have no decent reason to go... and nothing but reasons why to stay away from the congregation of couples in one of the school's gyms...

I feel bad about it, though. There was some hope for a good time, such as being able to slow dance with... *edited out* nevermind. I'm beginning to ramble and almost say "too much"...

British Hostage beheaded

Actually this was new news yesterday but I never blogged about it for some reason, even as just a note that it happened. Kenneth Bigley outlived his American counterparts, thats for sure, but in the end he sadly met the same fate as them at the hands of Zarqawi's Tawhid and Jihad.

Initially there was a scant mention that he may have been killed after trying to escape, and that several others were killed for trying to aid in his escape. There is "credible information that he tried to escape with the aid of one of his captors" [MSNBC].

Throughout the whole ordeal, the British government refused to try and save his life. While everyone else in Britain and elsewhere were pleading and praying for his release (but since when did pleading and especially praying ever bring about a desired result?). But the most noteworthy bit, which my friend Allison pointed out to me, was how he is the only hostage that they have ever shown caged up.

Presumably he had tried to escape before perhaps, prompting them to put him in a cage?

*Edited out*

This reminds me a bit of an article I saw on MSNBC a week or two ago and printed out. It makes mention to the possible purpose of such beheadings:

Several Arabs, however, said the United States and its allies were ultimately to blame for the hostage-taking because of the occupation and offensives that kill scores of Iraqis.

"It’s savage revenge rather than execution," said Jordanian political analyst Adnan Abu Odeh. "While there are those who are disgusted, a certain percentage no doubt feel vindicated because of the killings they see by the Americans in Iraq."

...

Zerrouk Slimani, a Tunisian school teacher, said nobody should regret the killing of Westerners. "When dozens of Palestinians are dead or 50 killed in Iraq, few in the West condemn these assassinations," he explained.

Post Editorial - 10-7-04

Came across this in yesterday's St. Louis post dispatch, which was sprawled across the kitchen table this morning when my dad was reading parts of it. I thought this was interesting and worth posting, even though at a few points I went "ouch". Heh.

PRESIDENTIAL ACCOUNTABILITY: There are many reasons to vote for Bush. But why would you?
By Eric Mink
We measure re-election potential on the incumbent's record. The president fails that test.

Voting for president in 2000 - assuming you were allowed to - was hard work, as President George W. Bush likes to say.

Al Gore, vice president at the time, had spent eight years eclipsed by the outsized charisma and appetites of President Bill Clinton, while Bush had been dabbling with elective office as governor of Texas. Neither had a track record that was particularly helpful in judging what kind of president he might be.

It's a lot simpler with an incumbent running for reelection: You examine what the guy in office has done. If you want more of the same, you vote for him. If not, you vote for the challenger.

Looking back at the past 3 3/4 years, I understand some things:

People who think it's a good idea to start turning Medicare over to drug manufacturers, insurance companies and for-profit health-industry conglomerates and open up Social Security for plundering by the
brokerage-investment industry should favor Bush. People who believe that loosening regulations on polluters keeps our air and water clean should favor Bush. People who think the best way to help Americans who are hungry, homeless, sick and impoverished is to bleed aid programs dry and rebate taxes to the super-rich should favor Bush.

People who believe America can remain the world leader in science by subjecting scientists and their research to religious and political litmus tests should favor Bush. People who think that negligent corporations should be free to hurt consumers with defective products and that
the injured should be denied their day in court should favor Bush. People who are convinced that government works better when career public servants take orders from political hacks and special-interest lackeys should favor Bush.

And people who believe that government should mind its own business, except when it comes to their neighbors' reproductive choices and sexual orientation, should favor Bush.

Many things, however, I do not understand, and at the top of that long list is this:

Why would anyone who is concerned about the safety of his family, the security of our country and the fight against Islamist terrorism favor Bush? His administration's record on these issues has been a litany of
incompetence and failure.

Speaking in Des Moines last month, Vice President Dick Cheney warned that electing the wrong person in November could increase the danger that "we'll fall back into the pre-9/11 mind-set. . . ." Bush owns nine
months of that mind-set.

It's not fair to blame Bush for those attacks, although six of the 10 "missed opportunities" to stop them identified by the 9/11 commission occurred on his watch. But it is fair to hold him responsible for the
rigidity of his White House bureaucracy and the lackadaisical attitude toward al-Qaida, both of which made America more vulnerable before Sept. 11, 2001.

The U.S. military won a stellar victory in Afghanistan in 2001, but Bush failed to follow through on the pursuit of Osama bin Laden and, much more important, failed to fulfill commitments to secure and rebuild
the country. As a result, tribal warlords again control much of the country, Taliban and al-Qaida elements continue to terrorize areas near the Pakistani border, the country is a cesspool of opium production, and the elections scheduled for Saturday are already tainted.

American forces delivered another victory in the spring of 2003 in Iraq, only to see their triumph dissolve into the wanton violence and chaos of today because of repeated administration mistakes.

Bush has blamed faulty prewar intelligence for his mistaken belief that Iraq's weapons of mass destruction required that it be disarmed. But even at the time, branches of the intelligence community were
raising doubts about some information and the reliability of some sources. Bush failed to recognize the gravity and implications of these concerns and started the war anyway.

Bush failed to adopt detailed plans drawn up by the State Department for securing and managing the occupation of Iraq. He also failed to heed the warnings of seasoned commanders that more troops would be needed to maintain the peace. These failures, compounded by the hasty disbanding of the Iraqi army, have allowed competing factions of Iraqi insurgents to band together and mount the coordinated, lethal guerrilla war that ravages U.S. forces and Iraqi civilians alike.

Bush's failure to abide by the terms of the Geneva Conventions created confused conditions that contributed to the abuse, torture and deaths of prisoners in Iraq and Afghanistan. Bush's defiance of the Constitution in handling prisoners at Guantanamo, Cuba, led to a stern rebuke by the U.S. Supreme Court. As a result, Arab governments are even more reluctant to provide the cooperation we need to fight terrorism effectively. Meanwhile, incidents of terrorism worldwide have increased since Bush took office.

Here at home, Bush has failed to provide the resources necessary to equip first responders, secure hazardous chemical plants and many
nuclear installations or inspect more than a paltry percentage of shipping containers entering U.S. ports. And we're still looking for the anthrax killer.

Bush doesn't like the idea of accountability. None of his cadre of principal advisers - Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld and National
Security Adviser Condoleezza Rice, to name just two - has been fired, despite their repeated, flagrant errors.

In a 2002 interview with The Washington Post's Bob Woodward (thanks to syndicated columnist Richard Reeves for recently citing it), Bush described the dynamic in Oval Office meetings: "I'm the commander," he said. "I do not need to explain why I say things. That's the interesting thing about being the president. Maybe somebody needs to explain to me why they say something, but I don't feel like I owe anybody an explanation."

Fine. That's what elections are for.

- Link to Editorial on STL Post website

Usable Quotes

Some great stuff that I know Brenn doesn't mind me passing on:

Brenn: im so fucking tired of this school shit going on
Me: which shit
Me: theres so much of it
...
*withheld - private comments*
...
Brenn: the debate
Brenn: v. pres debate
Me: it just ended
Brenn: edwards owned cheney
Me: lol
Brenn: rofl
Brenn: "edwards said good things about cheney's daughter"
Me: yes
Brenn: now is it just me......or does something not sound right about that?
Me: he pointed out that she was "gay" when Cheney didn't
Me: rofl
Me: your right
Me: "Hey Dick, I think your daughter is damn fine."
Brenn: LOL
...
Me: I hate dial up so much
Brenn: lol
Brenn: your new name....
Brenn: is...
Brenn: Dr. 56k
Me: lol
Me: whatever floats your boat, Power Ranger
Brenn: touche........
Brenn: .......Mr. 12.5
Me: Owned

I Got Advanced or Proficient?

Heh, last week they gave us these MAP Luncheon invitations for getting an Advanced or Proficient score on last years MAP test. The lunch was today btw. But what I'm baffled by is -- How the hell did that happen? I wasn't even taking the test seriously. I was just being a smart ass with many of my answers. It's fucking amazing how that worked.

What was wrong was how Tony's g/f Tasha won something in the raffle, Tony meanwhile goes "I won!" and then he won something himself. FIXED! (j/k). It was nice, though, having a meal early on in the day. Heh, Joe ended up with my Soda, and I had three cookies while everyone else had one (saved one of them for a friend at lunch).

Joe knows I was just being a smart ass on that damn test, for one, just with my essay answer. Where would you want to go and why? "Iraq. To see it for myself."

Voter apathy and some other stuff

In my Journalism class I volunteered for a group that had a vague idea about doing a story about the election. We then narrowed it down to something relevent to people our age -- the hordes of teenage voters who don't care to vote. So last night I did some second to last minute research (the story is due tomorrow).

"The chief reason that young voters give for not voting is that they think nobody is listening to them," said Jack Doppelt, author of Nonvoters : America's No-Shows and associate professor of journalism at Northwestern University. "And coupled with that, they don't think politicians come through on what they say."
- Source

Heh... I can't guess where they get that idea (sarcasm).

Young voters themselves have used these popular excuses for not voting: too lazy to go to the polls, one vote doesn’t matter and that politicians are all the same. Other young people say they just don’t have enough information to decide.
...

The problem with this type of reasoning is that more and more young people are convinced that voting is a choice rather than an obligation or a responsibility. In truth, voting is everyone’s civic obligation.
...

It is not as though America’s youth is not interested or caring. Statistics show that civic participation in young Americans grows every year. Perhaps "voter apathy" is not the right term for what is occurring in American politics. Young voters are passionate about issues that effect their lives, but don’t believe that their vote counts or that all politicians are the same. Presidential hopefuls tell young voters that by voting, they can change not only who is in office, but also laws that affect everyone.

Close call instances:
* Women won the right to vote in 1920 by passage of the 19th Amendment to the Constitution. Tennessee, the last state needed to pass the amendment, ratified the amendment by one vote.

* John Kennedy won the Presidency in 1960 by just over 100,000 votes.

* Woodrow Wilson was elected President in 1916 by carrying one state by less than one vote per precinct.

*In 1950, a State Senator in Maryland was elected by one vote. The winner had 3,080. The loser had 3,079.

* Thomas Jefferson was elected President by one electoral vote in 1800.

*The 1839 Governor of Massachusetts, Marcus Monton, was elected by one vote
- Source

Heh. Yeah, I have nothing else to work with right now for a topic. Other than, say, Spirit Week and my lack of school spirit. But, I'm going to bite my tongue on that, and move on to something else loosely related to the above topic. A quote. A quote from Joe.

Joe: according to jessie randle, Erika joyner is stupid and knows nothing, I want everyone to believe Bush is God, and Lauren uses the Bible as her defense for everything.......and what dp we all have in common
Joe: mr snidmans class and the only bush supporters

Dude, when you go on a message board and say "If we give George W. Bush full dictator authority I don't see any bad that can come of it", people are gonna think you believe the man is infallable. I bet he's no longer foaming at the mouth at the post-RNC polls now, too.

Sometimes if people draw a conclusion its based on how you act or what you say. I can't speak for the comments about the other two people, though.

Back From Hell

And now back in purgatory. Yes, I go between Purgatory (home / alone) and Hell (Work or school). Heaven apparently is out of room since my brief stay through April and May.

I was scheduled to work four hours tonight. Heh. Ended up staying 8 1/2 hours (on my Supervisor's order). For the week that puts me at roughly 38 hours... and this was only my third week. Heh. Full time workers get a minimum of -- wait for it -- 40 hours.

The long and grueling night gave me time to think... and forget... and forget what I thought about it... and thought about what I forgot... Heh. Obviously I'm working on that bizarre post-work buzz plus a two hour nap before I went in last night.

Things still suck, but not so much. For now. I've got tonight off, hopefully that'll help since we're not in school where at least two of us are not so antisocial to each other. Dunno.

Heh... my workplace is pretty entertaining at times, though. It has its moments:

- A Co-worker and I were on break one night with everyone else. He's eating these potato chips with fun facts about animals on the chips. He reads one aloud which is along the lines of "did you know eagles can swim" or something to that effect. I went "And when you pass that little fun fact on to another person they go 'where'd you hear that?' 'Oh, I read it on a potato chip.' '...right...'

There's more... it's just been eroded from my memory.